The road to self-love is not linear📈📉
I used to hate being alone. I would surround myself with friends at all costs to avoid being alone with myself and my thoughts. It confused me because since I was experiencing depression, I thought that I should want to be alone, but I didn’t. Recently, I started to explore why I felt this way. Looking back on it, I realized it was because I really disliked myself. I could not stand to be alone with myself because I didn’t like the person I was.
Now I love to be alone and prioritize having alone time. Why? Because this year, I have learned to love myself in many areas.
While I say that I learned to love myself this year, that has not been linear. There are still areas that I struggle a lot with almost every day. As I grow, so do my challenges. It’s hard to ever feel fully satisfied. Some days I do, some days I don’t. It is not all sunshine and affirmations. Some days feel shitty. What’s important is to feel my emotions without judgment or reproach and remind myself that they won’t last forever, because they don’t.
I am learning that the road to self-love is not linear. It is not easy and if it were, it wouldn’t be real! It is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. Life is not linear. Growth is not linear. Healing is not linear. And while self-love is a beautiful gift, it is not linear.
I am a work in progress and I know that I am where I am supposed to be right now. I continue to strive to grow as an individual and look for the lessons in everything that I do and feel.
Remember: the fact that you are trying is proof that you are strong. everything is a process. BE GENTLE AND KIND TO YOURSELF!